Brace yourselves as I am NOT a pretty “cryer”! I mean it… and I don’t like others to see me cry at all, EVER. It is something I am working on though because crying does help me feel much better afterwards instead of holding it all in… Sooooo, I encourage you to both watch this short video that resonated deeply with me, and to also bear with me while I emotionally share with you about a man whom has seen far too many of my ugly cries, yet stands by my side still.
Watch this Sweeter than sweet film… you may cry like I did…
Soooo, for my story and how it relates:
12 and a half years ago I married my very best friend. I know you’ve all heard that saying before… but for REALZ… I did! We have had a wonderful marriage, full of gobs of joys, three kiddos that stole our hearts, adventures along the way, great blessings, and a lot of medical/ health/ financial hardships too. Instead of sharing about all of that right now, I wanted to focus on this man that I’ve been blessed to share all of these moments, whether good or not so good with!
Matthew 19:6 ESV So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”
*Please know this is not a pity party… merely information you need to know to understand how blessed I am by my hubs love, and most importantly to bring a reminder of what God meant when he said “a lasting covenant.”
I have had two different people say that they cannot believe that we are still married or that they don’t know why Cory has stayed with me through all of these not-so-pretty years…. I remember both times very well. The first time was in one of my doctors’ offices and I was honestly shocked. That thought had NEVER ever crossed my mind. The second time was much more personal as it was someone who knew us very well. However, both peoples’ thoughts were very wrong and are quite disturbing when you think about them.
When my hair quit growing, started breaking off, getting very thin, and he can now feel the extensions when he runs his fingers through my “fake” hair: He reminds me what real beauty is.
When my weight has been out of my control because my body isn’t functioning right: He still wraps his arms around me.
When my skin is blotchy, broken out and aging rapidly and we can’t figure it out: He doesn’t look at me any differently.
When doctors told me I was dying two different times: He held my hands and prayed. Together we waded through the scary possibilities.
When I can’t get out of bed in the mornings: He puts on his “Super-Daddy” cape and gets the day going.
When my health bills cost us a house or two: He kept his eyes on our Savior, woke early every morning and worked diligently to provide for our family.
When I need held: He holds me.
When I need a shoulder to cry on: He offers both.
When I can plan the perfect day: I pick HIM… hands down… HIM. HIM. HIM.
Two main things stood out to me in this film…
The First is this: I know that Cory realized when things were very bad health wise for me and I couldn’t do much easily, he chose NOT to take the tasks away that were dear to my heart when it came to being his wife and our kiddos mom. Instead he would assist me whether I saw it or not in an effort to ease the strain on me while still allowing me to feel like I was caring for the four most special people in my life! This was a completely selfless gift that he gave. It would have been much quicker and simpler for him to just do it all on his own, or not worry about doing it at all. But he cares deeply for my heart and that is right where I needed to feel his love.
The second is this: I ALWAYS want to be his “partner” and not his “patient”. This is a VERY real feeling that any of you who have been through health issues beyond your control will resonate with. Of course I want and need to be taken care of… but I need to feel needed and wanted in our partnership just as much as I ever have if not more now.
Coaching Hayden
I still struggle with this feeling at times. It is an area that the enemy uses against me for sure. I will always be Cory’s partner… his partner in life, love, adventures, laughter, tears, and anything else we get to live out together. However, when he has to pick up the pieces that I can’t carry; I can buy into the lie that I am just a burden, job or patient to him. So, I am still working on fighting off this lie… because it is simply that: a big, fat lie!
You see, Cory is a man of his word. He made a commitment to the Lord. To me. We made this together and living it out is our only option. There isn’t the “easy out button” that when I get ugly, sick, or frustrating he can’t press it and be done. He lives his commitment out each day. This may not have been a smooth-sailing decade plus, but it HAS been beautiful watching his love for me!
~Sincerely Dani
Babes, you have stolen my heart many, many times over by how genuinely you love on me. I am humbled by your devotion to our marriage. I admire how tirelessly and so very hard you continually work to provide for our family. I cannot thank you enough and am honored that you chose me to walk through this joy-filled, ugly-crying, crazy, scary, amazing life with. ~ Loves, Your Girl
This Man xoxoxx