Sooo… I know I am not the only one that has a “messy life”.
I know that our family has been walking through a 10 year mess.
I believe with my whole being that God is soooo much bigger than any mess I may have.
I now know that although this mess is way too messy for my liking… it is a “beautyFULL mess”.
Health stuff can be messy to say the least… and after 10 years I have seen all kinds of doctors. Naturopaths, MD’s, Sleep Clinics, Specialists of all sorts, Neuro-Link Practitioners, Nutritionists… you name it, I have seen it! I have been told very scary things leading to not being here to love my husband, raise my kiddos, and enjoy this journey with our families. I have been scared silly for sure. I still have NO diagnosis, and the decisions we must make are never easy. Although this is BIG… hard… scary… overwhelming… and super duper messy, the reason I am sharing about it is because God has been showing me over these last seven months that this mess is marked with His beauty.
It is FULL of His beauty.
It is for His beauty.
He could step in.
He could stop it.
He could heal me.
He could take the weight of this mess off of my husband.
He could remove the stress from my kiddos.
He CAN.
He MIGHT.
He is ABLE.
I believe all of this and I still pray daily, sometimes each minute that He WILL… but I can finally say I am thankful that He chose me to for some reason to walk through this messy-messy battle. It may not be fun, and only He knows how it will end… but I am guaranteed that His purpose for my life will prevail- Proverbs 19:21, and that He has plans to “prosper me and not to harm me. Plans for hope and a future…” Jeremiah 29:11-13 Do I want healing? YES! Do I wish that I didn’t feel like this? OF COURSE! Are there moments/ days I feel like I cannot get out of bed, move, go on? UH HUH! Is this the hardest thing I have had to walk through? BOY HOWDY! Will I continue to seek after my God and desire His will at all costs? YOU BETCHA! There is sooooo much beauty in this mess… it truly is a “beautyFULL mess” and I cannot wait to see what God has planned in all of it. His ways are so often a mystery to me, yet they are so full of life and love. And I choose to be thankful that He is using me as a vessel to bring glory to Him! I choose today, to walk in a manner worthy of HIS calling!- Ephesians 4:1
“Lord Jesus, I thank you for picking me for this “beauty-full mess”. I know you love me. I know your plans are perfect and right. I pray that you bring healing to my body. I pray for strength for this journey, patience with this process, grace for each day, protection for my kiddos, and joy in our marriage! You are sooooo good, and I am thankful that you alone hold the blueprints for this life you’ve given. I ask you to keep me close to you, that you may do YOUR good work in me.
Amen”.
~Sincerely, Dani
Choose JOY today… it simply feels better!