Were trying to work hard around the property today so that we don’t leave for Germany for a month and return to all ten acres being taken over by weeds and it looking like a jungle… While I was able to pull weeds for only about 10 min I was struggling with fear. Fear of taking our whole family to a foreign country and exposing everyone to harm. Fear of the world in which we live in and the unknowns that present themselves daily. Fear of health. Fear of… You name it! I had to quickly reel my thoughts in and remember that our God, who made Heaven and Earth… Made everything in it… He is soooooo much bigger than all of this. I can give Him my worries and fears, He can hold them with just his pinky finger if I’ll let it all go! That’s the key for me at least… Letting it go. Not picking it back up again and again, but actually leaving it at His feet! He’s got all of this. He has our marriage. He has my kiddos. He has our travel plans next month. He has our safety. He has the doctors hands. He can handle it ALL!
Holding onto this simple truth… I hope you are too!
Sincerely, Dani
And because I’m having to take it easy today… I’m extremely weak and fatigued… Look at the gorgeous and fun views I’m getting to take in… Love each of them so much!
It’s been a long week and I am struggling to make clear enough thoughts as I sit down to type tonight. After sharing last week about the symptoms I’ve been experiencing, and hearing from many of you with some stories about your own symptoms, I wanted to share some more information.
I’m hoping to share all of this to ultimately bring hope and encouragement to you or someone you know that is battling your own “mess” right now and help you see it as a “beautyfull mess” with eternal hope!
During the last 24 years I have seen countless doctors, specialists, naturopaths, chiropractors, acupuncturists, practitioners, you name it… I’ve likely seen one! I was diagnosed with mono, EBV, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Short Term Memory Loss, Wilson’s Syndrome, Chronic Migranes, Pituitary Cushings, Pernicious Anemia, Crohns Disease, Candida, being Post Menopausal at 28years old, was told I was simply wired backwards, had a doctor say I was CRAZY, I have been turned away from Sleep Clinics two times, finally was seen by a sleep specialist and they said I slept fine, and was told by at least two doctors that they were done seeing me and had nothing they could do to help me. I have been tested for M.S., ALS, tumors, cancers, auto immune diseases, etc… I have had crazy long needles inserted into my major muscles and shock waves (I am sure there is a technical term for this) sent through the needles… basically, I was shocked from the inside to run extensive testing on my muscles and nerves.
After ALL of this including years of many trips over the mountains to our Health University, a trip to a world renowned Hormone Specialist in Arizona, tons of trips up north of Seattle to see a Neurolink Practitioner (he helped me some!), and expiring our local options too… the only thing that has ever stuck as a diagnosis (pretty sure this was strictly for insurance purposes… when we used to have insurance) was Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. Now, don’t get me wrong; I am not saying I am defined by a diagnosis or code at all, however, to receive proper treatment you must know what you are dealing with first.
My husband (Cory), my mom, and myself have long believed that I had Lyme Disease, yet any doctor I would ask here would look me straight in the eye and say this disease didn’t exist on the West Coast. Period. I was told that even if I did test positively for it, I would not be treated for it by them as they did NOT believe in it… eventually laughing the thought off entirely, they would each move onto more testing, more asking me to tell my story over and over again.
Finally… this year after taking about 16 months off of seeking any help or doing anything to help alleviate these symptoms (we were completely worn out and didn’t feel like there was any fight left in us.), I had a Rolf (structural alignment massage-like technique that proved to help me with my severely tight muscles that aggravated constant migraines.) appointment and the Rolfer told me about her friends practice that had just moved to Bend! I was trying to be hopeful to look into him, and Cory agreed it was time to get back into seeking help and finding answers.
I have been seeing this new Doctor/ Naturopath and appreciate that he believes that “I am my own best advocate”, He immediately advised me to have a binder of ALL of my test results, notes, etc… He views myself, Cory, and the Doc as a team and equally listens to our ideas while sharing his own of course. We have run extensive tests, and I know there are still more to come, however I finally have confirmation of a Chronic Lyme Disease diagnosis along with late stage Babesia, Bartonella, and there will likely be more co-infections found in further testing.
I will be posting treatment options as I walk through this. I am really struggling as I am midway through my second week of chasing this terrible disease… but I will post as often as I can!
Please share these posts with others… I am excited to help others struggling with Lyme, or other tick born diseases seek help, find answers, and encouragement in the middle of the mess, and ultimately pray for God’s healing!
Sincerely, Dani
Trust in the Lord with all your heartand lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. – Proverbs 3:5-6
Brace yourselves as I am NOT a pretty “cryer”! I mean it… and I don’t like others to see me cry at all, EVER. It is something I am working on though because crying does help me feel much better afterwards instead of holding it all in… Sooooo, I encourage you to both watch this short video that resonated deeply with me, and to also bear with me while I emotionally share with you about a man whom has seen far too many of my ugly cries, yet stands by my side still.
12 and a half years ago I married my very best friend. I know you’ve all heard that saying before… but for REALZ… I did! We have had a wonderful marriage, full of gobs of joys, three kiddos that stole our hearts, adventures along the way, great blessings, and a lot of medical/ health/ financial hardships too. Instead of sharing about all of that right now, I wanted to focus on this man that I’ve been blessed to share all of these moments, whether good or not so good with!
Matthew 19:6 ESV So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”
*Please know this is not a pity party… merely information you need to know to understand how blessed I am by my hubs love, and most importantly to bring a reminder of what God meant when he said “a lasting covenant.”
I have had two different people say that they cannot believe that we are still married or that they don’t know why Cory has stayed with me through all of these not-so-pretty years…. I remember both times very well. The first time was in one of my doctors’ offices and I was honestly shocked. That thought had NEVER ever crossed my mind. The second time was much more personal as it was someone who knew us very well. However, both peoples’ thoughts were very wrong and are quite disturbing when you think about them.
When my hair quit growing, started breaking off, getting very thin, and he can now feel the extensions when he runs his fingers through my “fake” hair: He reminds me what real beauty is.
When my weight has been out of my control because my body isn’t functioning right: He still wraps his arms around me.
When my skin is blotchy, broken out and aging rapidly and we can’t figure it out: He doesn’t look at me any differently.
When doctors told me I was dying two different times: He held my hands and prayed. Together we waded through the scary possibilities.
When I can’t get out of bed in the mornings: He puts on his “Super-Daddy” cape and gets the day going.
When my health bills cost us a house or two: He kept his eyes on our Savior, woke early every morning and worked diligently to provide for our family.
When I need held: He holds me.
When I need a shoulder to cry on: He offers both.
When I can plan the perfect day: I pick HIM… hands down… HIM. HIM. HIM.
Two main things stood out to me in this film…
The First is this: I know that Cory realized when things were very bad health wise for me and I couldn’t do much easily, he chose NOT to take the tasks away that were dear to my heart when it came to being his wife and our kiddos mom. Instead he would assist me whether I saw it or not in an effort to ease the strain on me while still allowing me to feel like I was caring for the four most special people in my life! This was a completely selfless gift that he gave. It would have been much quicker and simpler for him to just do it all on his own, or not worry about doing it at all. But he cares deeply for my heart and that is right where I needed to feel his love.
The second is this: I ALWAYS want to be his “partner” and not his “patient”. This is a VERY real feeling that any of you who have been through health issues beyond your control will resonate with. Of course I want and need to be taken care of… but I need to feel needed and wanted in our partnership just as much as I ever have if not more now.
Ephesians 5:25Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.
Coaching Hayden
I still struggle with this feeling at times. It is an area that the enemy uses against me for sure. I will always be Cory’s partner… his partner in life, love, adventures, laughter, tears, and anything else we get to live out together. However, when he has to pick up the pieces that I can’t carry; I can buy into the lie that I am just a burden, job or patient to him. So, I am still working on fighting off this lie… because it is simply that: a big, fat lie!
You see, Cory is a man of his word. He made a commitment to the Lord. To me. We made this together and living it out is our only option. There isn’t the “easy out button” that when I get ugly, sick, or frustrating he can’t press it and be done. He lives his commitment out each day. This may not have been a smooth-sailing decade plus, but it HAS been beautiful watching his love for me!
Ecclesiastes 9:9Live joyfully with the wife whom you love all the days of the life of your vanity, which he has given you under the sun, all the days of your vanity: for that is your portion in this life, and in your labor which you take under the sun.
He is the most dedicated, committed man I know. In standing by my side, holding my hand and always choosing to love me, he is an example of Christ’s love. He is a living example to our kids of what a devoted husband, and gracious daddy is and I can wholeheartedly say that I am more head over heels in love with this hunka-heaven than I have ever been before!
~Sincerely Dani
Babes, you have stolen my heart many, many times over by how genuinely you love on me. I am humbled by your devotion to our marriage. I admire how tirelessly and so very hard you continually work to provide for our family. I cannot thank you enough and am honored that you chose me to walk through this joy-filled, ugly-crying, crazy, scary, amazing life with. ~ Loves, Your Girl
Vortex is a beautiful WordPress theme for any news, magazine or blog Website. It has light and optimized code with SEO friendly structure. The typography and white space promise comfortable reading pleasure. Vortex features custom background, custom menu, post thumbnails and custom header.
