I’ve been struggling to write out my thoughts, and explain how things are going these days because it’s just been so hard. I want some of each post to be encouraging and to share the hope that I have amidst the troubles… but the truth is that there are lots of things going on in and on my body that just aren’t comfy, pretty, or ideal. But the other part of the truth is that Jesus knows about it all. He is my ONLY hope and I know He has perfect plans with all of this crazy that is going on!!!
Here’s the brutal, honest yuck in life right now:
I’m frustrated with my body right now. My weight is climbing up so fast. I’m frustrated with life and the fact that we continue having to move, uproot our family from family and friends. Yank our kiddos away from youthgroup, sports, their normal. We had to leave our ranch in Bend, leave Hawaii… all because of my health. I’m weary from constantly having to start over, pack up and begin again. I’m frustrated with the body that my hubby has to go to bed with and the wife he has to wake up each morning without. I’m angry with doctors for speaking lies to me for years. I’m angry that for 25 years there were NO answers and that has caused permanent brain damage. I’m angry that my hair is falling out and hasn’t grown for over a decade. I’m angry my face has breakouts all over it. I am frustrated I can’t sleep and I have zero energy. I haven’t been allowed to work out for the last three years, and now that I can… I’m soooo out of shape and don’t know where to start.
I’m overwhelmed.
I feel hopeless.
I’m weary.
I’m sad.
I’m frustrated.
I am so thankful for the hope I have in a living Savior. I’m hanging on the words of this song along with others each day… ready for my miracle and waiting expectantly for what God is still doing in our family while we “Live It Out” daily in the journey He has allowed us to walk through… His Beauty FULL mess!
XO, Dani