My Refuge… My Rock

I know… I know… another delay in posts about treatment and life in general 🙁  I’m still here, but man oh man, each day throws new things my way.  I am sitting here in bed, not able to make it to church with my family today…I have been very, very, very nauseous in the mornings and most often begin my day with throwing up several times.  Various mornings have started with one or more of these super strange symptoms:  no hearing in my left ear, my right arm hung limp yet I could move all of my fingers (odd), my knee had no feeling, or another day had such severe pain that I couldn’t not put any weight on it, I could not focus one eye for most of one day last week…  I have started to call these crazy symptoms “the thing of the day”.  They seem to usually pass by about noon or so, and my afternoons from 1-5ish are what I am calling my “normal” for now.

Afternoons are spent mostly resting, trying to soak up the sunshine, being as present as I can be with my kiddos, and hoping to get at least one house chore accomplished for the day (this hasn’t been possible these last two weeks though!).  I have had a migraine that won’t subside for over 3 weeks now, and am usually so fatigued and nauseous off and on most of the day that being productive hasn’t been a reality… argh!

With the approach of each evening, I start getting worse again and we have had some scary times.  I had an intense peak of pain one night that left me shaking, involuntarily crying and curled up in the fetal position moaning… I honestly think that I blacked out for a bit of it, as Cory and the kids remember more of it than I do.  This brings me to the hardest part for me these days… knowing how frightened my family is about the way I am feeling.  My oldest went upstairs crying, praying, and saying “Mom was dying”.  Cory feels so helpless not knowing how to comfort, or care for me.  These are very scary times causing sleepless nights, nights full of tears, thoughts full of fears for all five of us.

We are looking for a great LLMD, or LLND (lyme literate doctors) to find someone who lives and breathes treatment for my specific conditions.  I spend hours and hours each day and night researching treatment options, finding ways to protect my organs in this process, working on new ways to detox, etc…  these are all things that a lyme specialist would be up on and know how to direct me.  Neurologically, I am battling so hard right now and then to add onto that struggle I am trying to retain any information I read about… and let’s just say:  I NEED help!

Prayers requests:

relief of symptoms

eradication of spirochetes

effective detoxing

strength for my body

emotional strength

strength and comfort for Cory and our kiddos

wisdom and direction to find THE right doctor and treatment protocol

finances for treatment

and of course complete healing for my body

Praises:

I am sleeping much, much better

Kiddos have been happier this last week than the week before

I am beyond thankful that though we are soooooo very weary of this mess; I know that my God is bigger, He is here and He is my life and breath, and I am choosing daily to put my trust in HIM!

2 Samuel 22:2-4

2 He said: